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Stargate | 15 Valentine’s Cards to Send to Your First Prime

Here are 14 sometimes sweet, occasionally sexual, and wholly Stargate Valentine’s Day cards for the Gater in your life.

Valentine’s Day coming and I have no doubt most of you have forgotten. Not me, mind you, I’m like a furry Cupid making sure that love’s rose-red arrow is sailing in your direction.

This furry cupid fluttered about in PhotoShop to create 14 increasingly smutty Stargate-themed Valentine’s cards for you to Sha’re with your A-bae-dos. I won’t say they’re good – after all, I have quality sci-fi writing to curate – merely that they are “of a certain standard.”

Samantha Carter: “I got Furlings for You”
Jack O’Neill: “Grab a rod... and meet me at the cabin.”
Thor: “I Thor you Looking.”
Samantha Carter: “I Got a Major Crush on You.”
Teal’c: “My Heart Calms Up When You're Around.”
Ronon Dex: ”I Just Want to Run to You, Baby.”
Jack O’Neill: “Babe, Are you a Zat Gun? ...Because When You're Around, Everyone Else Disappears.”
Sgt. Stiler: “I Must be Sgt. Stiler... Because I Keep Falling for You.”
Wraith Queen: “You Better Not Wraith My Time.”
Teal’c: “You Raise More Than My Eyebrow.”
Daniel Jackson: “My Love Language is Ancient Egyptian.”
Teal’c: “You Must be a Jaffa Joke... Because I‘m Smiling But I Don’t Know Why.”

They get filthier from here. Brace yourself.


Daniel Jackson: “There's No PhD Without the D.”
Walter Harriman: “Show Me Your Wormhole.”
Daniel Jackson: “It's Not Just the Goa’uld Who Want to Put Something Inside You.”

This article – if that's not too grand a term – was first published on February 7th, 2022, on the original Companion website. It has been updated with the cards from a later post and a new one.